Thursday, February 5, 2009

Confessions and musings

I was terrible today.

I was helping my son read a book to me, something he gets quite excited about these days. It was near the end of a long day (notice how I slide that excuse in right away?). He started struggling more about halfway through the book, and my promptings to "sound it out", as I pointed with him at the unfamiliar words, were being completely unheeded. He has the habit of looking over the pictures incessantly while completely ignoring the word itself when he doesn't get the word right away. Yes, I know he's trying to pick up clues, but then he just starts guessing. Tonight, I was clearly unprepared mentally for this battle and let it get to me. Instead of patiently and kindly directing him back to the word and going through each letter sound, on one particularly frustrating (to me!) page, I let my voice rise and snapped at him for his bad habit. When I do that with some of my other children, no big deal. With him, his already-shaky confidence takes a nosedive and we have to pick up the pieces.

I hate it when I do this. It's seriously the last thing he needs from his mother.

I was thinking about this tonight as all my children -- including this sweet, sweet boy -- showered me with goodnight kisses and "I love you"s" and all the things that make bedtimes perfect. How quickly they forget how terrible I am! How they love me anyway?! Is puberty defined as the moment children wake up and realize their parents have been messing up every day of their lives so far?

3 comments:

Kati said...

Right there with ya, sister.

Much to be learned about forgiveness from children.

(Praise God, they forget most of our bad parenting moments.)

Anonymous said...

You are only human...

Only God is perfect...

love ya,,,

n.

Krista said...

Dear Heather,
I can so relate! Most days I feel like the children teach me more than I teach them.
As far as teenagers....apparently we (parents) will become the dumbest people in the world to our kids....at least that is what I hear. Gosh, I hope that doesn't happen. Let's enjoy our sweet elementary years while we can:)
Love,
Krista