Shoes, TV's and Puzzles...Oh My! (and more shoes)

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.

That's a verse - SO true - that runs through my brain as we sort every year. And sort. We got a lot of donations (thank you!!) earlier this year, and for some reason we just felt this might be an "off" year. And so began the running Heather-brain commentary: "You should be more specific in your donation requests"..."Everything's fine"...."Is this even worth it?"..."What does worth it mean? Why do you have to try and control everything?".

What does the Lord do with all that? He takes the body of Christ, our obedience to putting one foot in front of the other, good and bad weather, and prime barn-sale real estate and raises nearly $3000 to send to His work in Liberia, one 25-piece children's puzzle at a time.

 We all know that crunch time is here when Pam and her girls show up to fill all those empty table places, rearrange with fresh eyes, and price thousands of items. So thankful for them!

 Every time I look at a picture, I think of 10 other ways of setting things out. But when I'm doing it, I think - yes, this is right. It's a disease.

Umm...The Year of the Shoes is an understatement. I finally got the last tub out on the last day of the sale. I think we sold about 2/3 of all that we had, but that may be optimistic-hindsight-thinking. I also tried a new clothing arrangement for pants and shorts, but I'm not sold (ha!).

Not as many bikes as usual, but our outside items (not all pictured) went quickly!

Marriage Enrichment Counseling True Life Example from Barn Sale '13: the frosted shower curtain television. There's a lesson every year, folks. Will share our informative talk "How to Avoid Complete Marriage Meltdown" for the small-ish fee of feeding our children.

 Wish I could've remembered to take pics of all those who donated and helped! The Murphy's were new initiates to the Barn Sale this year, and fit right in. The Bayers and Allison Smith also came for the first time. Thanks to ALL!!

Let's Review

Top Threes, Please...

...in movies:
* People Like Us
* Machine Gun Preacher
* War Horse

...in books:
* Unbroken, Laura Hillenbrand (seriously, everyone must.read.this)
* Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking (I need to re-read this every year)
* not a fan, Kyle Idleman (did not expect to like this one)

...in things accomplished:
* new lights in the kitchen! Ding, dong, the too-dark-always-burning-out hanging lamps are dead!
* We grew enough tomatoes successfully that we were able to get tired of canning tomatoes. And we got strawberry plants in the ground that still appear to be alive.
* Wrote non-press release articles for $$ for the first time in many years. Felt good!
(I should put the bedroom re-do project on here, but because I am technical and "that way", I'm not. Because it's not quite done :)

...in homeschooling:
* Big transition - Levi taking some classes through/at the local school district. Lost some control of our time, gained new experiences.
* Either Delaney has a natural bent for understanding fractions, or I got better at teaching (must be the former). Either way, it wasn't the dramatic gloom-and-doom that long division and all previous math had portended. Whew.
* Finding Phonetic Zoo for spelling. Thank you Andrew Pudewa. Thank you.

...in the unexpected:
* Suburban stolen out of the barn in February, but Eric didn't get fired that day. One to remember.
* 60s on the twins birthday, hanging out laundry in February, gardeners and farmers planting in March. Crazy weather.
* We have a dog. She has not been hit on this road. She appears to like us.

...in God-things (aren't all?):
* Eric baptizing Sara
* deep-thinking friends who can see beyond the routine into the heart of things in the midst of soccer games, kid-running and dirty dishes
* the barn sale and all that goes with it - He never ceases to amaze us

...in music:
* Psalm 46, Jenny & Tyler
* Washed by the Water, NEEDTOBREATHE
* Rice and Beans, The Welcome Wagon

my "place", defined

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. 
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone — while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?

“Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?

“Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?
The earth takes shape like clay under a seal; its features stand out like those of a garment.
The wicked are denied their light, and their upraised arm is broken.

“Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep?
Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this.

“What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside?
 Can you take them to their places? Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
 Surely you know, for you were already born! You have lived so many years!

(Job 38: 4-21)

In which I am currently...

...loving... the long days at home of winter, where children have time to make best efforts on hard things, instead of rushing through so we can head out the door to the next thing. A couple boys in basketball give me just enough "get out of the house" for a good balance, with still time to catch up on reading and conversations with The Husband.
...reading...a randomly chosen biography at the library, which I grabbed while searching the stacks for the book I had put on hold but the librarians had not had time yet to pull for me. Is that the sign of obsession?
...waiting for... a Big Snow. I do not live in the Midwest for rainy winters, thankyouverymuch. We must go sledding, make snow angels, completely freeze more insects, then start pining for spring.  
...excited about...my family coming here this weekend for basketball and visits! Winter time is quality time for farm families.
...missing... our nephew Evan, who is now Nine Months Old (Oh, how sweet the years when I marked time in months!), and doing all sorts of wonderful new things every day. Yay for Oovoo! Boo for hundreds of miles apart.
...trying... to learn a new piano piece instead of replaying my old favorites again, and again, and again.
...working at... breaking the Dt. Mt. Dew addiction. There. I said it. On the Internet. Have not had one in more than 2 weeks, but am more than slightly worried about the amount of calories I am consuming in hot chocolate compensation. 
...enjoying... Spotify. A song pops in my head. I type it in search. It plays. The kids and I discuss some history and the music from that time. We search. It plays. Making new playlists is *my* Pinterest.
...snacking on... *nothing. (*See: working at: not eating after supper)
...using... benadryl to try to rid Jesse of mysteriously appearing rash on his stomach, elbows, underarms. Comes and goes. Benadryl not working too well. Suggestions welcome.
...wearing... "pajamas" - old shirt of Eric's and comfy gray pants. Not a lace kind of gal.
... planning...yes. Always.
...singing... "All Creatures of our God and King", off "Downtown Church" - Patty Griffin.
...needing... seriously fitting/arched walking/workout shoes. And 16 things fixed in the house. And 2 sets of braces for kids. But really? Nothing.
...learning... the very, very fine line between demanding excellence and inducing exasperation.
...listening to...my squeaky dryer, my sleeping husband. Thankful for both.
...wishing... that is wasn't only hindsight that is 20/20. I could really use some corrective lenses for foresight, Lord.  
...praying for...obedience. That I would listen, and obey, and NOT try to control results. Praying for opened eyes and changed hearts.
...dreaming of... a place that would a safe place for broken, hurting people; that would be a place where light and hope were found; an adventure in reaching beyond comfortable and safe.


(...stealing from...fuzzy hair)

So I Can Remember

"The worst way out of apathy is by dodging problems, avoiding the clashing of personalities, and getting around persecution. May the Spirit prepare us in this new year for the daily grind, and may He fire us with unusual strength for the special task of confronting our national and personal idols."


- Dave Black

No "what if"s, No "if only"s

"Wherever you are, be all there." 

- Jim Elliot

Don't let...

...the busyness overshadow the small stuff

[6yo's who light up at being the "shark"; excitement over new uniform colors; sunsets that overwhelm the world with the reality of Him]

...my detailed self make mountains out of molehills

[really? I have to get that paper over to that place right this instant? will school planning get done by worrying about when I will get it done?]

...my kids miss the people, the purpose

[my attitude is reflected in them; do they see stress or joy? do they understand why we are putting others before ourselves?]

...me forget:

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I'll Give You Organic

Conviction+
Opportunity+
Obedience+
Faith+
Blessing+
Friendship+
Generosity+
Open Doors+
Commitment+
Purging+
Sharing+
Witness+
Work+
Relationship
= BARN SALE


All glory to the One, True, Living, Eternal God.

Some homework...or Heather-work

So a good friend and I snuck out and had a great evening recently discussing life, kids and breakfast, schedules, books, music, Africa, and a multitude of other deep-to-shallow topics that only 2 mothers of 9 children could squeeze into 4 hours. A phrase that rose to the surface throughout the evening: "living well". She and I are going to continue the discussion - what does it mean to live well? As a Christian? As a mother and wife? As me?

I thought I might start to flesh some of that out here...feel free to add on, weigh in, disagree, etc. Brainstorming is on the agenda first, as all good students know, and since there is not much in my brain, I'll stimulate my thinking by seeing what others have to say.*

"There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living, and the other how to live." - John Adams

"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it." - Erma Bombeck

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Come now, you who say, today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit. Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.'" - James 4: 13-15

*Fine print disclaimer: just words that make me think...not necessarily an endorsement of the sentiment.

One Body

We sat on metal, plastic, canvas, wood -- whatever could be gathered in close quarters before dawn this morning. The 40 or so of us - from new babies to great-grandparents - were surrounded by flats of flowers and rows of hanging baskets, their colors barely visible in the dark.

We started to sing. Then the roosters started to sing, and before our eyes the greenhouse lit up like someone had flipped the switch. We kept singing, about the One who flipped the switch, who rolled away the stone, who lives today and forever. We talked about how the darkness has not won, and will never win.

On the other side of the world, though, our brothers and sisters did not get to leave their gathering and go eat ham or baked beans or cake or relax with their families. They tried to gather and sing, and pray, and talk about the One whom we celebrate this day; they were arrested. Some are in various jails, others are in unknown locations.

I do not take for granted my freedom to gather and proclaim the name of Jesus Christ, and I will not forget those who are without that freedom.

The Importance of Growing Up

There's been much discussion this week around here about gray hair; specifically, mine. While we were talking to some friends at the nursing home, we mentioned Leah's upcoming birthday and how "old" I felt that my baby was going to be 7. Delaney piped right up, "Yeah, mom has gray hair! She colors her hair!" - loud enough that the entire hall could hear. Children are the Lord's way of uncovering your last lingering shreds of vanity, I do believe.

Later in the week, the topic came up again. Delaney said I looked young (I think it was when I was dressed to go to the Y with them?) and that I should keep coloring my hair. I said that I would stop sometime -- I hadn't really decided when -- and that all the gray would be there in its full glory. D is now on a mission to decide what the exact right year is that I should begin to look like an "old woman".

I don't really know when I'll let it go; honestly, I don't care much. As my good friend Dellie once taught me: "it's just hair." What I do want is the maturity, the wisdom, the patience, the deeper love that the Lord gives those who continue to walk in His way for years and years, those whom are easy to spot: gray hair, big smiles, and open arms.

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." (Prov. 16:31)

On My Mind: Being the Church and $$

Spending a whole year in James with the kiddos is very interesting. We move slowly through verse and yet circumstances/books/verses/discussions have all kept coming up through the seasons that add meat and complement to where we are in James. Hmmmm....

For example: one verse from Luke has really stuck with me since this past summer -
"When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you;"

In order to invite those in need, I have to see them. I have to have my eyes open, and have my eyes opened. As with most things in the past, when I pray ask God to lead me, He uses my willingness in ways in which I never would have imagined. This all then leads me back into James 2, where I am seeing that this whole living out of my faith is very personal, very in my face, very day-to-day. I know I have shown partiality, I know that I have overlooked those in true need. And then, of course, there's this:
"What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?"

Hello. Then this past week I read on Cindy's blog a very good commentary on something that Eric and I have always been troubled by: how are we showing partiality right in our church meetings? Our activities of fellowship? We have been on both ends: the ones who have been given bags of groceries or anonymous envelopes of money (tears of gratitude!) and the ones who were able to give. But aren't traditional churches set up these days in America to be prohibitive to giving to the poor right in their midst? If we are in the pew and get passed the plate, we are expected to put something in for the salary(ies), the electric bill, the missions to the poor that are "out there". Then everyone can meet at the restaurant after "church" for a great $40 fellowship meal. Isn't this part of the reason the truly poor and needy and invisible people stay "out there" and our church meetings have become so uniformly middle-upper class?

The Church (universal) has to be a safe place to come as we are. Our lives have to be opened to sharing the tangible gospel of Jesus Christ by living open, knowing that nothing is "mine", all is to be shared, given away, used up, including myself.

Looking Back...

2010 was not a good year for me. Did we face some hard circumstances? Yes. But nothing out of the norm for life; nothing that God has not told us we could expect. But somehow all these circumstances combined with my response to them and general habits have me looking back and being not very happy with myself. If I can be a little "new-agey", I was out of balance. Probably slightly depressed. Did not take my circumstances and depression and bad responses to the Lord nearly enough, but instead I just got stuck.

The good thing is I feel myself coming out of the fog; God is gracious and patient and never-changing. He is FAITHFUL. So I have used this relatively-quiet December to rest in Him, and I remember now that hard years are not to be forgotten. I want to remember what I have learned this year. I will focus on coming plans, goals, ideas, months, soon; today I will write what I want to remember from 2010. Some are just memories, some are lessons, some light-hearted, some not, all random.

(Written to my future self)
1. Your husband was able to take care of himself in long-needed ways through 2 surgeries this year. He had employment and time to do this with peace.

2. All that back-of-the-mind worry about your neglect of Leah's one-on-one teaching time was for naught. She picked up her siblings basic chapter books sometime mid-summer and announced that she had read them. You didn't believe her until Eric asked her to read the Bible passage one night and she did it. You're pretty sure the homeschooling police cannot arrest you now because you have taught all of your children to read.

3. Your kids were (eventually) excited about moving to Missouri. They could envision themselves starting over and look at it as an adventure. Even though it didn't happen, they have the experience of preparing themselves to do something completely new.

4. Speaking of trying new things, Delaney sewed the skirt, did the judges interview, and walked up and down the stage at the fair without tears or hatred toward you. Between that and two piano concerts and soccer, her confidence has bloomed this year. Your pushing was not too much.

5. Seeing Levi enjoy and thrive in his advanced choir brought bursting joy to your heart. Don't be too hard on him; there's a lot ruminating inside. Just don't let him be a slacker.

6. The $$ setbacks were many and out-of-the-ordinary. Let it go. Focus.

7. The barn sale. The barn sale. The barn sale. Unrestrained joy. The body of Christ, working for His glory, in more ways than can be counted.

8. All of the phone calls, the endless computer hours, the meetings were worth it to build community through soccer (and football) and help with a smooth season. But especially worth it for the deepening of relationships and new friendships. Now find a way to do it with less computer time.

9. The complete overwhelming undeserved blessing of Eric having 3 job offers from which to choose. Having your husband/their daddy "back".

10. "Hold Us Together" (Matt Maher)
"You are Mine" (Enter the Worship Circle)

11. The terror and yet perfect fun of belting out "Come on Up to the House" with dear Pam at South Boston. The leaky, cobwebby cabin that had no water in the morning, but making the best of it all. A perfect, quiet afternoon at Elk Creek.

12. Sister=pregnant. JOY!

13. Kenneth, Irene, Carrie, Robert, Doris, Janet, Zoanne, Shirley and so many more at the nursing home. Jesse, saying every single week, "I can't wait until Friday."

Thank you Lord, for all things.

Where's my heart?

Better late than never...getting down notes on idols from my "get-away" conference in Sept...convicting!

"We make something an idol when we inflate it and ask it to be God-like"

ASK YOURSELF:

- If I can't have it, am I still content?
- What do you organize your life around?
- What do you want or crave or wish over?
- What are you willing to sacrifice a large amount of time or money to obtain?
- What do you fear losing?
- What do you rejoice over?
- What makes you angry or frustrated?
- How do you define sucess or failure?
- Where do you go for comfort or safety?

Then, identify, confess, and repent; you have to replace the idol with God.

This month, thankful for...

...time with my awesome, inspiring sister

...seeing my mother relaxed on the third week of August for the first time in many, many years

...choices and the freedom to make them

...kids who go with the flow but still talk about what they're feeling

...kids who ask to start schoolwork again after feeling a little rusty in their skills during a little knowledge competition with friends

...new soccer and football friends, even during this, the craziest yet sports season

...a break in the humidity and heat

...14 years with E

...music, music, music...I could go on and on

...the Spirit in me, prompting me to continue walking with Him.

Psalm 31...fresh bread

How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.

In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.

Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.

In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.

Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

Some Barn Sale Pics

What a fun time we have had!

So much going on, but it's all in my head

Will be thinking for some time on this passage and the discussion the kids and I had about it this morning...

From Luke 17:
"Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, 'Come along now and sit down to eat'? Would he not rather say, 'Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink'? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.' "

2009 Memories

Favorite kid quote: "Yibish" -- What Leah says when something's not going right, or she's surprised by something, or the weather is extreme, or...

Favorite movie: Avatar 3D

Favorite homeschool moment: I should probably write a whole post -- we've had some great times this year. Selfishly, I would say learning with the kids how the Strait/Rock of Gibraltar got its name was an unusually "wow" moment for me on many levels. I think it captured an essence of what we're doing here...how we get the freedom to learn the big picture and connect so many things together: faith, historic events, choice we make, living in this world. I know that probably sounds strange, but it was one of those "aha" things for me. On a more kid-focused level, I would say it has been pure delight watching Jesse impress me daily with his reading and writing improvement. And Leah got the hang of basic reading in 2009, so all five can read now! I'm just along for the ride...

Favorite trip: Didn't go very much this year....Kentucky reunion trip wins!

Favorite field trip: Lots of good choices, but the warm fall day that the kids and I took off to the local arboretum to collect leaves and watch birds was simple and special.

Favorite (new to me) book read: A Thread of Grace, Mary Doria Russell

Favorite Bible verse/passage: Isaiah 40 ("Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told to you from the beginning? The LORD is the everlasting God...")

Favorite family time: meeting new friends and hanging out together at the soccer/football fields every night during fall sports

Favorite new song: Sara Groves, "Different Kinds of Happy"

I might think of more...what are your favorites?

Merry Christmas

For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God, Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace.