Another First, for the Fifth

How does it feel to always be the last to do a first? Not as much build up and excitement from the family, perhaps? Parents who seem a little scatterbrained until the last minute when they tell you how important it is to do your best and that this is "your first ___!"? Help and attention divided between 5 instead of 1, or 2, or 4?

My prayer, dear number five, is that you can remember that this first in your life was a great milestone and big accomplishment. You worked hard to learn new things, and followed your book's instructions with earnestness not seen around here in a while. You were gracious when the hope of a new bike turned into time with Daddy fixing up what you already had.

When the big day came, you donned your gear and wheeled in your bike even though no one else in the building looked like you or had to bring something so different. You spoke clearly when signing in and didn't glance back once when it was your turn to be judged. And even though you told us later that you forgot what the exact job of the back brakes were ("sorry, Dad!"), you answered the judge's questions and did a great job! You even won an "A" ribbon and State Fair Representative! In your first 4-H judging ever. Great job, number five.

Points for trying

The assignment: write an emotional appeal about something; play on your readers' emotions

Levi's result:

Today is a special day - a famous day, a day that should be spent in relaxation. It's Valentine's Day! Yes, all the kids toiling away at and in school need some time off. So, please, support the Kid's Abuse Cause today!!

Wit like the Sahara

Overheard at the lunch table:

Levi: So who's going outside to the trampoline with me? Jesse and Leah?

Leah: It's too cold. I'm going to exercise in here and just take this vitamin (by her plate).

Levi: C'mon, you need fresh air and Vitamin D.

Leah: No, I'm staying in. I said I was going to take this vitamin.

Delaney (barely looking up from her food, an askew glance at the vitamin): You think that holds any sunshine, puddin' pop?

Right in the middle

The end-of-the-school-year special one-on-one restaurant dates kicked off tonight: Jesse took me and chose The Olive Garden (recently opened in Richmond). He was the best dinner date. It kind of dawned on him about 20 minutes into our time together that he really did have my full attention and no one to interrupt him, and he grabbed hold of the conversation and ran with it. I asked him a few questions when we got there about his favorite part of the year so far, and what he was looking forward to this summer. When there was a lull when we were starting to eat, he got this totally serious look on his face and said, "So, mom, what would you say is the best year of your life?"

Love that boy.

Just a very small sampling of the topics we touched on: Italy, salad dressing varieties, Eric and my life before kids, grapes and wine making, cousin Evan the-absolute-cutest-smartest-1-year-old-in-the-world-today, Christianity, siblings and their quirks, that fettuccine does not necessarily mean alfredo, the proper relationship of the napkin to the meal....and on and on.

He kills me.

He's right in the middle of the pack - a position which has taught him patience, perspective, and more patience.

He's right in the middle of boyhood - halfway between new baby and that age they call "adult". He promised tonight that he'll always be my boy.

Best line: The waitress asked if we were ready to order and he so politely explained exactly what he wanted to her, so politely answered her questions, and so politely asked if the salad had tomatoes and if she could please leave them off.

Me (when she left): You did such a nice job ordering and speaking clearly and kindly to the waitress, Jess. Good job!

Jesse: I know. The whole time in my head I was like "Wow, I really sound like an adult right now."

A warm January birthday

"We NEVER have a day where we can go outside and play in the sunshine with no coats on our birthday!"

The 9 year old menu:
Breakfast: They chose to pick out a "anything we want" box of cereal - each. Reese's Puff and Cookie Crisps were the start to the day.
Lunch: Sandwich "buffet", as they like to call it, with their chosen chips.
Supper: Steak and chicken fajitas/tacos, with black beans and onions and peppers and lettuce/sour cream/tomatoes/sauces, chips and salsa, yummy sweet corn from summer
Chocolate cake, with mint and strawberry ice creams

Words that describe Jesse right now: strong, compassionate, thoughtful, so observant, guileless, funny
Words that describe Sara right now: determined, insightful, organized, responsible, loving, independent, certain

Living Well: The Lists

I was determined this year to do better at doing the "next thing" instead of stressing about the "next thing".

On a good note, I am doing better at this. On a bad note, I'm getting a little wrapped up in my to-do list.

(Note: if you did not know previously how I can be a little *obsessive* about lists, you should probably stop here and keep your well-polished image of me intact.)

Instead of putting "Call ____" on my list, and then spending a night or two wondering how they will respond, or what to do if they don't respond, or whatever, now I just call them. Immediately. Done. Move on. That's working well.

However, since I'm becoming my mother and all, I know that I'm more prone to forgetting something, and because I don't want to lie awake all night wondering what I've forgotten (my ONLY cause of insomnia), I've been writing everything - even things I just might WANT to do - on my to-do list. This is creating problems, because my to-do list? It gets done. And I mean, done. I really can't stand to have a lingering, been-on-there-forever to-do list item. So, even when I have gotten a LOT done, I feel the pull...what's next? What else can I cross off?

So what does all this have to do with my musings this year about living well? Well, my children, my husband, my relationships? They can't go on my list. They don't get crossed off. But too many times, too many days, I'm getting all wrapped up and in love with and - yes - consumed with my get-'er-done list. Sometimes I think: "put 'do _ with kid' on the list!" And then I think: "that's terrible. That is NOT living well".

I have no answers right now. E has always been the one who can pull me away from my lists...maybe I should ask him.

When the Plan Comes Together

So, you know what it's like when you have spent years teaching the letters and their sounds, and reading to the child, and putting words together, and slowly they start to read, and sound their words out, and you have to set times for them to practice reading each day? And then one day it's really quiet, and you check on them, and they're engrossed in a chapter book that you didn't even suggest and it makes you want to cry?

Well, the construction equivalent just happened. Counting, measuring, math, power tool instruction, years of patience with "helpers", and more have just come together. Daddy's tearing up. : )

The Importance of Growing Up

There's been much discussion this week around here about gray hair; specifically, mine. While we were talking to some friends at the nursing home, we mentioned Leah's upcoming birthday and how "old" I felt that my baby was going to be 7. Delaney piped right up, "Yeah, mom has gray hair! She colors her hair!" - loud enough that the entire hall could hear. Children are the Lord's way of uncovering your last lingering shreds of vanity, I do believe.

Later in the week, the topic came up again. Delaney said I looked young (I think it was when I was dressed to go to the Y with them?) and that I should keep coloring my hair. I said that I would stop sometime -- I hadn't really decided when -- and that all the gray would be there in its full glory. D is now on a mission to decide what the exact right year is that I should begin to look like an "old woman".

I don't really know when I'll let it go; honestly, I don't care much. As my good friend Dellie once taught me: "it's just hair." What I do want is the maturity, the wisdom, the patience, the deeper love that the Lord gives those who continue to walk in His way for years and years, those whom are easy to spot: gray hair, big smiles, and open arms.

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." (Prov. 16:31)

Their Cunning Ways

So, the more my kids understand me, the better they get at manipulating me. They may, in fact, be getting close to knowing me better than I know myself. I must stay on my toes.

Let's say that it is late afternoon and they want to watch a DVD or show of some sort. The strategies:

Levi's method: "Mom, I practiced my piano and all the chores are done. Jesse and I just got an extra tub of corn brought in. Can I help you with supper? (Me: no, but thank you!) Well, do you think we could all watch a short DVD?
Unpacking the Manipulation: Oh, how can I resist a checked-off to-do list?! He knows I love it when things have been accomplished. It is sooooo hard to resist rewarding that kind of laundry list.

Delaney's method: "You're probably going to say no, but, can we watch something?"
UtM: Who wants to be the Parent of No all the time? She tugs, tugs, tugs at my guilt-strings.

Jesse's method: Ummm, nothing. That boy is utterly incapable of manipulation so far. He's just all Jesse, all the time.

Sara's method: "Mom, there's this really neat show about science on PBS right now and I was wondering if I could turn it on and see if everyone wants to watch it with me?"
UtM: She has been sent. She has been coached. She has been told what to say. She plays this role well and figures she has nothing to lose. She never forgets a line.

Leah's method: She turns on the TV.
UtM: She remembers an occasion at some point in her life where this worked. Most likely during soccer season. Therefore, she will continue to rely on this strategy.

January hike....check!

After a long day of auctions and errands...a snowy hike was the pefect antidote to a boring Saturday. Deciphering animal tracks ("are you sure that's not a bear, Dad?"), moments of silence to listen for what else might be in the woods besides our noisy selves, and, of course, being a little "lost" when mom and dad had a slight disagreement on which marker to follow (okay, okay...he was right!).

On the boardwalk before the "real" trail...

No, we're not cold!

New Kid in Town

D: I'm going to grow out my hair really long and then donate it for wigs.

Me: Great!

Waiting...waiting....waiting

D: How long is it now? Is it long enough to cut the ponytail?

Me: Nope

More waiting...

Me: I think it's long enough now! Do you want to wait until soccer is done and then cut it?

D: Yep.

Waiting...waiting......WAITING...for the team to lose : )

Me: Hair appointment next week!

D: What?!? I don't know. Should I? Yes, I'm ready. No, wait, maybe I won't. I don't have to, right?

Me: Right - your decision.

D (this morning): I'm ready, let's go!

And she did it! Proud of her and her attitude about the whole thing. Interestingly, she knew exactly what kind of hairstyle she wanted and she was right...it looks great on her.

This month, thankful for...

...time with my awesome, inspiring sister

...seeing my mother relaxed on the third week of August for the first time in many, many years

...choices and the freedom to make them

...kids who go with the flow but still talk about what they're feeling

...kids who ask to start schoolwork again after feeling a little rusty in their skills during a little knowledge competition with friends

...new soccer and football friends, even during this, the craziest yet sports season

...a break in the humidity and heat

...14 years with E

...music, music, music...I could go on and on

...the Spirit in me, prompting me to continue walking with Him.

And there goes June...

New swimming suits to protect and play in the summer heat...

Fun with cousin...

40th birthday wish...instead of Nov. party, a June trip to the "homeland" with good friends...

including a peaceful afternoon at Elk Creek Lake...



and a fun night performing at the "oprey"!

Uncharted territory

One of my offspring is now 5 feet tall.

And weighs 100 pounds.

And wears a size 9 *MENS* shoe.

We announce these milestones around here like they are a normal part of life moving on. Which they are, of course, until I remember carrying said child in my body, giving birth, dressing him in cute baby clothes and the infamous swaddling blankets.

Then I hyperventilate a little.

Levi's latest LEGO creation, for Uncle Dave

The Star Wars LEGO speed skating competition.

Well, I Had to Capture This

My baby's last day as a 5-year-old...

A Birthday Ritual

No, not the pick-your-menu thing! Although we still certainly do that. We like to spend some time sharing with the birthday person (or persons, in this case) what we enjoy about them...what we're thankful for in regards to them. Thought I would share some of the comments:

About Jesse:

"I love being his twin"

"He's nice"

"He puts others before himself"

"He taught me a lesson...I was being mean to him and he was nice right back at me"

"He's very brave"

About Sara:

"I'm glad she was there with me when I was born"

"She's my best sister and I love her"

"She gets us going in the morning and has a lot of 'pow!' energy"

"She's a very hard worker in her school work and house work"

"She's loving and really cares about other people"

"I love to play with her"

Happy 7th Birthday twins!!

On a warm fall day...

....you might head to the arboretum to view the beautiful colors and try to improve your tree identification.

...you might take your walking sticks but use them as anything but, especially when posing in front of mom's favorite tree.

...you might need a close-up to see the name of the tree.

...you might be inspired by big brother to see if you can make no noise while walking through the trees.

...you might get a little silly in all the fresh air.

...and you just might end up being thankful you took the time and went.

Random Wednesday thoughts

*The non-intentional dropping of half of the large container of granola in the pantry this morning turned positive: 2 industrious 6-year-olds spent an hour completely cleaning out and re-organizing the pantry floor. They're good, too. They love having complete control over the vacuum wand.

*I joined a community choir (yes, just me!). I think I'm the only 30-something (or anywhere near). I love the breathing practice, and the vowel formation, and the being instructed in something again, and being around other people who sigh with pure delight at beautiful harmonies.

*Having children narrate back to you what you just read them never fails to entertain and enlighten.

*Even if the dishwasher is not being used because it just has a leak, and you're fine with hand-washing dishes all summer, you should still open it from time to time just to see if everything is the same inside. It might not be. It might have black, smelly water pooling up.

*Husbands get big bonus points when they spend their only sports-free evening working on the dishwasher.

*There's really not time to waste in this world with fake "I'm fine" 's. Speak up.

*Leah: "I can't kiss you because you're sick. And I don't want to get your sick. But I can hug you! And I do love hugs!" Hard to beat an enthusiastic-for-life 5-year-old. : )

Breaking News: Life filled with laughter and blessings after 13 years of marraige

After soccer/football practices tonight, the kids were eating their snack while Eric had left to run an errand. I saw that he had left me a card for our anniversary, and opened it. It was perfect, and of course I started tearing up a little. After Levi noticed (he always is the one who notices) and got everyone to give me a group hug, I was just overwhelmed with the blessing of this life I have.

So I started to tell the kids how blessed they were to have a dad like Eric. I told them how smart their dad was, and how hard he works to take care of his family. And I told them that the best thing was how their dad loves God, and teaches them what he had learned from God. I paused so they could take it all in. Their faces were glowing with smiles as they finished their watermelon.

Then Leah, with bright eyes and an earnest face, paused with her fork mid-air and asked: "So, what's the bad news?"