A Milestone

10 years ago...
...we had recently moved to Preble County for Eric's work, found a house on a major road, and knew no one except the realtor.

...we had 4 children ages 4, 2, 1 and 1 and I was pregnant with our unexpected 5th.

...the doctors were very worried about the baby's health - a suspected fetal anemia - and my 4th c-section in 4 years.

...God blessed us immeasurably with a perfectly healthy little girl that He in His wisdom granted us...

....and we - on the way to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning - named her Leah Hope.

Dear Leah: You are a cheerful, kindhearted daughter that bring us much joy! We can't believe you are in double digits now. You love to read at night and you remember lots of what you read and like to share it. You are enjoying your own room and the chance to be alone and think. You and Delaney have been cooking more together lately. You had a fun sleepover with your friend Anna. You love to sit on Daddy and his name for you is "constantcontact.com". You are not afraid to voice your opinion or stand your ground with your siblings. And of course you still love to hum! You have great questions about God and the events in the history of how He interacts with people, and we pray you always seek Him. Happy birthday!!

A warm January birthday

"We NEVER have a day where we can go outside and play in the sunshine with no coats on our birthday!"

The 9 year old menu:
Breakfast: They chose to pick out a "anything we want" box of cereal - each. Reese's Puff and Cookie Crisps were the start to the day.
Lunch: Sandwich "buffet", as they like to call it, with their chosen chips.
Supper: Steak and chicken fajitas/tacos, with black beans and onions and peppers and lettuce/sour cream/tomatoes/sauces, chips and salsa, yummy sweet corn from summer
Chocolate cake, with mint and strawberry ice creams

Words that describe Jesse right now: strong, compassionate, thoughtful, so observant, guileless, funny
Words that describe Sara right now: determined, insightful, organized, responsible, loving, independent, certain

What I really want to eat this week

I will miss making all of my husband's family's favorites...whipped sweet potatoes, broccoli casserole, the "dressing", the green beans, the endless lines of pies, the apple stack cake

But we will eat together, and I will not miss the stories, the games, the time.

I will miss my grandma. My first Thanksgiving without a living grandparent. Their traditions, their steadfastness, their ever-present love.

But we will make her noodles, and pile them on mashed potatoes, and make a ham instead of a turkey, and remember her in each bite.

I will miss my "boy"...his willingness to hold my hand in public - or any motherly PDA; his boyish features; my slight advantage in strength....all have been fading, and with this, the 12th birthday, are disappearing.

But we will eat his All Boy birthday menu on his Thanksgiving Day Birthday (who else gets to eat corn dogs on Thanksgiving Day? Anyone? Anyone?) and sing to him and be so thankful for the boy he is and the man he is becoming.

I will miss the "way things were" - I've always been bad at change - but I will embrace the "way things are" and remember the One Who Always Is - He is my Rock.

And I will eat...

"Come, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money, 
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
    and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
    and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me; 
    listen, that you may live." 

A "Real" Man

I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn to humbly obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”

Sometimes I marvel because of how different your life must look than how you imagined it. Ohio? Five children? No 4-wheeler? Really? But then I think of how your life is just like you imagined it: Ohiofivechildrenno4wheeler so inconsequential...faithfulness to God in whatever circumstances.
You are a real man.

Sometimes I can't stand you. I take all of my exhaustion and undone dishes and undone repairs and undone goals and undone responsibilities and I pile them up on the easily accessible corner of my distorted mind called Your Fault. You did not sign up for this. You do not fight back. You do not blame back. You don't do the same thing to me because you know I would crumble under the accusation because my patience-meter is always hanging by a measly thread. You wait. You hold no grudges when I regain my senses.
You are a real man.

Sometimes you mess up. Or get lazy. Or ignore consequences we agreed upon for the kids. Or let depressing thoughts control your actions. You are not perfect.
You are a real man.

Sometimes (All The Time?!?) you are faced with career detours. Oh, that long-lived goal of being an engineer has been fulfilled - probably, in reality, when you were born. But life and poor decisions and good decisions and opportunities seem to arrive like a weekly package. I love your dreams. I love your ideas. Don't stop.
You are a real man.

Sometimes friends, family, strangers, restaurant patrons compliment our well-behaved children. How wonderful and sweet and quiet and mature. They assume - oh the irony! - they assume because I'm home with them that it's because of me. I, the Lord, my family, and you, know the truth. You defy every misguided stereotype this world places on a father. You are so strong, and so gentle. You discipline with the long view. You have always seen them as the people they are becoming. They know, deep in their hearts, that you enjoy being with them and always will.
You are a real man.

And I pray that your 41st year is real and good and blessed in a way that only the Lord can do. I love you. 

And another hits double digits...Crazy!

Absolute favorite pic of her! Happy birthday Lady Kay!

My Sweet Seven-Year-Old

There is not a cliche available that I would not be willing to use tonight to describe how strange it is that my youngest child is 7. We so love our humming, cuddly, cat-carrying, twig-thin, not-a-morning-girl, hugging, doesn't-know-a-stranger Leah. Happy Birthday, girl!

The Importance of Growing Up

There's been much discussion this week around here about gray hair; specifically, mine. While we were talking to some friends at the nursing home, we mentioned Leah's upcoming birthday and how "old" I felt that my baby was going to be 7. Delaney piped right up, "Yeah, mom has gray hair! She colors her hair!" - loud enough that the entire hall could hear. Children are the Lord's way of uncovering your last lingering shreds of vanity, I do believe.

Later in the week, the topic came up again. Delaney said I looked young (I think it was when I was dressed to go to the Y with them?) and that I should keep coloring my hair. I said that I would stop sometime -- I hadn't really decided when -- and that all the gray would be there in its full glory. D is now on a mission to decide what the exact right year is that I should begin to look like an "old woman".

I don't really know when I'll let it go; honestly, I don't care much. As my good friend Dellie once taught me: "it's just hair." What I do want is the maturity, the wisdom, the patience, the deeper love that the Lord gives those who continue to walk in His way for years and years, those whom are easy to spot: gray hair, big smiles, and open arms.

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." (Prov. 16:31)

For my mama*

It's a funny thing, the way God designed families. You're born, you grow up, you leave your mother and father and get married and start a new family. Generally, this means you also do not live with your siblings, because they have grown up and left and started families, too. And in effect, what this all actually means, is that no one who lives in your house when you are married and raising your own children knows that you have become your mother.

You sound exactly like her when you tell everyone that Cheerios are it and Do Not ask for anything else.

"Yes, you have to match up all the socks" rolls right off your tongue without a thought.

You find yourself tracing words over and over on scribbled lists and notes while on the phone.

You look at your hands...enough said.

However, your husband, your children -- they don't know that that's not really you. That's your mother. You know, the one you're so different from? She made stacks, you purged (but now you might need a stack or two from time to time...and don't touch it!). She forgot things, you remembered (except now, when you forget). She thought of her family first, you thought of yourself first (is that changing yet?!? Please change me Lord...).

Now though, to them, to your family, it is you. Because you are now The Mom. So thank the very good Lord that since we all become our mother sooner or later, I have a mother who gave me a full tank of love to pass on to my family and beyond each day. Because now, in many ways, I find myself becoming my mother:

I am so glad to see and be with my children and husband every day.

I laugh; at myself, at big things, but especially at the little things.

I am an optimist.

I do what needs to be done, even when I'm tired.

I am rejuvenated by and rely on music in so many ways. Passing that on to my children is so important to me.

I pat people.

I love Jesus Christ with all my heart. I will never give up on seeking Him.

I'm so thankful I'm becoming my mother. I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday.

*I never actually call her mama. It just sounded right for the title.

On getting older: them, that is

Another birthday week has arrived. It's impossible to forget their arrival around here since they are anticipated and counted down with publicity from the very minute the previous-birthday-person blows out their candles. Besides, being the completely seasonal person I am -- a fact I have come to see more clearly and embrace more fully -- this birthday has too many triggers to be forgotten. Big Ten football, end of harvest, my dad and husband's birthdays...the impending Thanksgiving. Eleven years ago I had the 22nd circled on the calendar for 9 months, the boy stayed in me to grow even bigger, we induced, and my first child was born on the day before Thanksgiving (falls on the same day this year!).

We watched Toy Story 3 last night. In the scene where the mom sees Andy's nearly empty room before he heads to college and starts crying, Levi looks at me and says, "You're going to be like that."

"Yep," I replied. And then the next 7 years of my life flashed before me in a blink, and I just about started crying right there. SEVEN years?! Impossible. There's too much to do, too much to teach him, too many memories to be made to stuff into that short of a time. I love an essay I just read reinforcing that the "teenage" years don't have to be what the popular culture dictates - our kids can learn and grow and pull away and become young adults without buying into the world's idea of adolescence. I especially appreciated Neufeld's words of guidance: "I would suggest three words to guide child raising and education: expectations, responsibility and risk."

I know we need to add more responsibility and risk into our children's lives, especially Levi's. I don't want to just create "situations", either. I think we need to improve at seeing those naturally-occurring opportunities for them to take more responsibility and fail or succeed. I'm praying that my eyes will be opened to those and for the patience to see them through. We're starting to move into the next phase; I want to enjoy it and them as much as I am this one.

November

vote.
birthday.
anniversarybirthday.
BIG birthday.
soccersoccersoccer (<-----typo? please? no? )
birthday.
birthday.
KID birthday.
Thanksgiving. And I will.
birthdayinremembrance.
Thanksgiving II.
birthday.

November.

And there goes June...

New swimming suits to protect and play in the summer heat...

Fun with cousin...

40th birthday wish...instead of Nov. party, a June trip to the "homeland" with good friends...

including a peaceful afternoon at Elk Creek Lake...



and a fun night performing at the "oprey"!

Well, I Had to Capture This

My baby's last day as a 5-year-old...

A Birthday Ritual

No, not the pick-your-menu thing! Although we still certainly do that. We like to spend some time sharing with the birthday person (or persons, in this case) what we enjoy about them...what we're thankful for in regards to them. Thought I would share some of the comments:

About Jesse:

"I love being his twin"

"He's nice"

"He puts others before himself"

"He taught me a lesson...I was being mean to him and he was nice right back at me"

"He's very brave"

About Sara:

"I'm glad she was there with me when I was born"

"She's my best sister and I love her"

"She gets us going in the morning and has a lot of 'pow!' energy"

"She's a very hard worker in her school work and house work"

"She's loving and really cares about other people"

"I love to play with her"

Happy 7th Birthday twins!!

Our very lovely afternoon. Just lovely.

Ever since her sister Sara and I took a quick jaunt through our local town's newest Antique Mall, Delaney has been asking to go, too. I asked her to wait until after her birthday, and told her she could plan to take some of her birthday money, if she wanted. She did. Today turned out to be a perfect day for the girls and I to go, and everything about our trip, our find(s), and then our resulting evening was just perfectly perfect. Can you guess what we found?

Best quote of the day: "Ladies don't ever yell, right Mom?" -- Delaney, as she stood at the bottom of the stairs with instructions on where to find the place mats and tablecloths to get ready for the tea party. Her sisters were upstairs playing and she knew they would want to be included on every step of the preparations. Instead of our -- ahem -- normal way of getting someones attention, she walked up and told them it was time to start getting everything ready. Like a lady.

Happy (birth)Days

The kids said, "Sleep in, mom! Sleep in!" So I took a few extra minutes to lay in bed this morning while they bustled about. Delaney came in a few minutes later, and whispered: "Mom. Mom. If you close your eyes and don't peek, can you help me wrap your present?"

I love 'em.

.

...and that's what little girls are made of

"Is it time to make my cake now? Right now!? I'll wash my hands...can I get my thing on, you know, my Leah thing? Oh yeah, my apron! Do I pour like this? How many eggs?!! Four? But I'm going to be five, mommy! We should do five eggs! The mixer is loud...yes, I'll hold it very carefully."

"That's a LOT of chocolate, isn't it, and chocolate chips. It's hard to stir!"

"I scraped all I could, mom. Is it ready now? Oh, right, we have to cook it!"

"Guys, come on, come on! It's finally time to ice my cake!"

"I'll be verrry careful licking the knife, mom."

"Happy Birthday to Leah, happy birthday to you."

And now they're six...

We love our twins!

There's no one like her

Happy Birthday Mom/Grandma!

We're a vegetable-free (twilight) zone

As seems to keep occuring, today is a birthday day in our household. Much to our chagrin, someone has had the gall to turn NINE around here, and thus, participate in the Choosing of the Menu. He has had the most practice at this, and knows that since he will not be getting most of these foods the other 364 days of the year, he'd better stock up now. So he stocked up, and we have all had sugar/carb rushes and subsequent crashes today that have left us pretty much lifeless (and just in time for Thanksgiving!).

Breakfast: doughnuts and sausage, OJ
Lunch: hot dogs, Cool Ranch doritoes, tater tots
Supper: Pizza, Cherry Delight, ice cream

Add to this that we ate a Thanksgiving meal with our church group last night, where the kids snuck cups of Coca-cola and we don't know how many cookies, and you can imagine how we feel tonight!

When he first made out his menu and showed it to me, I had to at least ask, "don't you want any vegetables?" He added pickles to his supper list. We were so stuffed by supper though, that we forgot all about the "vegetable."

We do love our newly-nine-year-old and are so thankful for him, carb-lover and all. : ) Happy Birthday Levi!

What I didn't know I needed

My mother tells me I was quite the bossy child. I think she may have even heard that confirmed by my kindergarten teacher, who commented politely on my skills in directing the other 5-year-olds. I wasn't even a first-born, but I did have quite a few years -- six, to be exact -- at practicing being the youngest. Then my parents informed me that there would be another baby coming. I remember being excited about helping pick out a name, and the fun of baby blankets and other baby gear being bought. Sure, I was excited about the baby, too, but I have a feeling that was mostly due to the fun I thought the baby would bring to my world. I would control the baby.

The baby turned out to be a sister, named Karyn, who was not about to fit into my box, literally or figuratively. (I believe this would not have been the case if they had only spelled her name with an "e".) She was very cute, with lots of wispy blond curls, and she sang, all the time. She sang while refusing to play the way I wanted her to, and she sang while she cut off my Barbie's hair. She sang when we wrapped her up like a mermaid, and she sang like a canary when she told on me.

I know that I am a better person today because I have a younger sister. She challenged me to shed some of my controlling bubble, and she inspired me -- and still does -- to think of others' needs before my own. We sing together.

But God knew I needed more work. Fast forward a couple decades, one husband, and four children. I still, with four children under four, thought that I needed to be in control. I thought, "ok, four. I can handle four." So, when my twin babies were 14 months old, on a cool March morning in 2004, the Lord gave me another Karyn. We named her Leah Hope. She has wispy blond curls and sings, all the time. She sings at the school table while I am doing spelling words with her brother, and she sings while we travel down the road. When the rest of us do one thing, Leah does the other, and waits for us to catch up.

I am a better mother by far because of the miracle that is our Leah. I am so thankful that God moved beyond us and gave her to us. Today, she has turned four years old. Happy Birthday Leah!

They even share the same birthday month! We love you Aunt Karyn!

Here's Leah today, on her birthday